Find Your Stage

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Midlife · Find your stage

Short version now, full version coming

Three stages, and most people are never told which one they are in.

Perimenopause, menopause and postmenopause are not one experience. What helps in one can do very little in another, which is why so much advice lands as useless.

Work out where you are → Or see what is available today →

The full assessment is being built. This page answers the question in the meantime.
The three stages

Defined by your periods, not by your symptoms.

This surprises people. Symptoms vary enormously between individuals. The staging does not.

  • Perimenopause. Your cycle has changed: shorter, longer, heavier, lighter, skipped. Symptoms usually begin here rather than later. It commonly lasts four to ten years, and it ends at your final period.
  • Menopause. Technically a single point in time, not a phase: twelve consecutive months with no period. You can only identify it looking backwards, which is why nobody tells you when you reach it.
  • Postmenopause. Everything after that twelve month mark. It is the longest stage of the three by a considerable distance, and the one that gets the least attention.

If you are over 45, this is worked out from your cycle history rather than a blood test. Hormone levels swing so much during perimenopause that a single test is often misleading. Under 45, testing is more useful, and worth asking about.

Why the stage matters

Two things behave completely differently.

This is the part almost nobody explains, and it is the reason waiting it out works for some symptoms and not for others.

Symptoms that usually settle

  • Hot flushes and night sweats.
  • Mood swings tied to fluctuating hormones.
  • Sleep disruption driven by the above.

These tend to peak around the transition and ease afterwards for most people. Waiting is a reasonable strategy if they are tolerable.

Symptoms that do not

  • Vaginal dryness and thinning tissue.
  • Discomfort or pain with sex.
  • Irritation, and urinary symptoms including recurrent infections.

These are progressive. They do not resolve on their own and they tend to worsen slowly through postmenopause without treatment. Waiting is the one strategy that reliably does not work, and it is the most common advice women are given.

Available today

What exists while the rest is being built.

Three of these are free and ask nothing of you.

The desire masterclassNinety minutes, live, on why desire changes and what to do about it. No date yet, and the waitlist hears first. Join it.
Free to join
The Perimenopause ChecklistWhat is actually changing, and which of it is worth raising. The closest thing to the assessment being built. Take it.
Free
The Doctor ScriptWhat to say so you are taken seriously in a ten minute appointment. Take it.
Free
Symptom to Conversation GuideTurning what you are feeling into words a clinician can act on. Take it.
Free
Peri/menopause and IntimacyEight modules, forty three lessons, self paced and entirely private. Covers all three stages. Read about it.
A$420
The Shift MethodThe same ground as 24 audio lessons, self paced, with the printable Shift Workbook. Read about it.
A$450
Sol Hormone BalanceSupplements for the daily support side. Not a treatment, and the pages say so. Browse.
From $19.90
Common questions

Answered plainly.

How do I know if I am in perimenopause?
The clearest signal is a change in your cycle: shorter, longer, heavier, lighter, or skipped months. Symptoms often start before that becomes obvious, which is why so many people spend a year or two wondering what is happening. If you are over 45 and your cycle has changed, that is usually enough.
Should I ask for a blood test?
Over 45, usually not, because hormone levels fluctuate so much during perimenopause that a single reading can be misleading in either direction. Under 45, testing is more useful and worth asking about. Either way, the Doctor Script helps you have that conversation.
Is it too late if I am years past my last period?
No. Genitourinary symptoms respond to treatment at any stage, and postmenopause is the longest stage of the three. Being ten years past your final period does not close any doors.
Why does my doctor say to wait it out?
That advice is reasonable for hot flushes, which usually settle. It is not reasonable for vaginal dryness, pain with sex or urinary symptoms, which are progressive and do not resolve on their own. If you have been told to wait for those, it is worth going back and being specific about which symptoms you mean.
When will the full assessment be ready?
No date yet, and we would rather not invent one. When it is finished it will be free, like the other tools. In the meantime the Perimenopause Checklist covers most of the same ground.

This page is education, not medical advice. It does not diagnose anything and is not a substitute for your doctor. If you have unexpected bleeding, particularly after your periods have stopped, see a clinician promptly rather than assuming it is part of the transition.

Find your stage

The full version is coming. This part works now.

Start with the free checklist, which is finished, and takes about ten minutes.

Take the free checklist → Or see the course →

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